we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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