Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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