Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
