Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
