why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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