Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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