i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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