No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
