and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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