i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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