Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It was confusing and full of hummus
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
