he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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