her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
