he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
