Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
