I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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