it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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