Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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