he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
