I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
