After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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