You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
