those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
