I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
