New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
