This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
