i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
