I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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