Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just blew my weed a kiss
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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