DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
