Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
