my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize