honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
