my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize