problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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