He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
