remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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