So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
