Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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