Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
