Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
