I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
