is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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