Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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