i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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