he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I love having hate sex.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
