sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
