Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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