i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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