and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
