Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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