I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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