Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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