I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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