i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
