I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
