its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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