Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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