I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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