Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
