So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
