just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
