i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
