oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you would pick up someone in the library
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
