Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
